Ace and Jocelyn Shirt/Script
Opening Sequence :Amir: You're watching an all new episode of Ace. :Jake: Please don't. :Amir: And Jocelyn. :Jake: I said don't. Episode :Amir: Hello my fellow astronaut accountants. I've been under Jake's... uhh.... Ace's desk for the past three hours. :Jake: Hey, is match.com down for anybody else? Cos I'm 99% sure an uggo fuggo just tried to look at my profile... and I gotta troll her. :emerges from the desk. :Amir: Boom! Oh... Hello Ace. It is I... Jocelyn. :Jake: I have time for this. :Amir: Well, if you got the time, then I got the shirt to show you. :Ace Jocelyn theme tune plays while Amir shows the shirt at different angles. :Amir: Who do you think would wear this shirt, Jake... - Ace? :Jake: Called me Jake for a second there. :Amir: I didn't, I said Ace! Who do you think would wear this shirt? :Jake: Oh my god, me alone. :Amir: No. Other people too. :Jake: You're gonna edit this like I'm - :Amir (voiceover Jake): Chill dude! :Jake: - aren't you? :Amir: The chillest. :cartoon of a rocket flies from the bottom of the screen to the top. A rooster crows in the background. :Amir: Thank you for wearing the shirt by the way, my friend. :Jake: I'm not wearing the - :changes to Jake lying on a couch, now wearing the new Ace Jocelyn t-shirt. His nose is bleeding. :Jake: oh... dude, what the f- :Amir (voiceover Jake): Chill dude! :Amir: Awesome shirt, Ace. Where'd you get it? :Jake: Did you change me? :Amir: Bustedtees.com? That sounds like a pretty sick space site. :Jake: You punched me in the face. :Amir: With a great deal! :Jake: No, with your fists. You knocked me out. :Amir: With low prices. :Jake: Dude, did-did-did you steal my phone? :Amir: Ok, stop being a bitch and play along for half a second :Jake: You stole my wallet and my phone, dude. :Amir: The only thing that's a steal here are these low prices. :Jake: Alright, that's it. :camera falls to the ground. Jake starts punching Amir. :Amir: Ow no! Ow! Stop hugging... me... Ace! :wipe to reveal Amir, holding a bloodied tissue to his nose. :Jake: Hey Amir, I'm sorry. :Amir: Jocelyn. :Jake: Jocelyn, I'm sorry. :Amir: Sorry, yeah. It's fine, my nose is just bleeding from the high altitude and low prices heh... ow... that hurts. :Jake: Ok, I lost my cool, ok? Any way I can make it up to you? :wipe to reveal Jake sitting on a couch with a script in front of him. :Amir: Rolling! :Jake: Oh my god, don't sound like you're crying all the time, Jesus. :Amir: Just start! :Jake: Houston, we have a problem! These shirts are too fat. :Amir: With emotion! :Jake: These shirts are so hot, they're practically on fire. :Amir: Ok, great. :approaches Jake with a lighter. Jake protests. A new scene appears with Jake's shirt half burned off of him. The scene is badly edited by Amir. (each dash represents a new piece of footage from the clip) :Jake: You're - amazing. You're fu- amazing. And you know what else man? This shirt, it's - amazing. You know who's going to buy one of these? - Everybody. - You got that? :Amir: I got that, Ace. I got that. :Amir: Here we go... oh ah ah ah ah! Hmm... early. I'll start on that. Ok, 3... 2... 1... oh ah ah ah ah! DAMNIT! Ok, forget it. :rocket cartoon flies from the bottom of the screen to the top. A rooster crows in the background.